The hidden elite have always cultivated subtle ways to identify themselves to one another. Freemasons wear manly jewelry. Fraternities have tricky handshakes. Even Fred and Barney needed a top-secret password to get into the lodge of the Loyal Order of Water Buffalos.

So it is with Tuk-U. One of the great advantages of TukWear is that it makes you immediately identifiable to your fellow Tuk-U alumni around the world. However, you may be caught with your TukWear out of sight -- like on washday.

That's where the secret greeting comes in. Even without TukWear, you can silently make yourself known to another Tuk-U alumnus. Read on for more information and step-by-step instructions.

There's (Too) Much Confusion

Pretenders will try to fuddle you with false secret greetings. Don't be taken in by them. Study three examples of greetings that are NOT the Tuk-U secret greeting. Learn to avoid anyone who foists one of these on you.

Not a Greeting. "Nanuk Stoops to Sniff Icehole" from Tuk-U's Shaolin seminary. The secret is all in the wrist.

Not a Secret. This is known as "The Kiss". (Looks like the Kiss of Death to us.) Could be a greeting, but with that breath, not much of a secret

Not a Secret Greeting. This is just a simple handshake. You can see all the fingers. Nothing fancy. Definitely not a secret.

The Real Tuk-U Secret Greeting

The University of Tuktoyaktuk secret greeting arises out of an honorable tradition. Tuktu the caribou has long fed and clothed the people of Tuktoyaktuk (in times when TukWear wasn't available). That's why the community is called Tuktoyaktuk -- it means "resembles a caribou". Our secret greeting celebrates this ancient truth.

Step 1. Face the person you want to greet and insert your left thumb into your left ear. Spread your fingers. (Note alumnus looking carefully for ear-thumb alignment.)

Step 2. Now insert your right thumb into your right ear. Spread some more fingers. (Conscientious alumnus double-checks.)

Step 3. Wiggle your fingers back and forth so that you resemble a caribou in a fierce arctic gale. You'll know another alumnus if they respond in kind. If -- on the other hand -- people laugh at you, just pretend you're having a seizure.